When He Smiled
by Myhoniahaka
Summary: It started as a hobby, then became an obsession. In which, Sasuke stalks Naruto.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Heya, people. I published this story months ago, then deleted it, and now I'm publishing it again. The story explores darker themes than my usual writing.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto

 **Warnings:** Stalking, creepiness, mental illness, sexual themes, substance abuse, mentions of child abuse, PTSD, kidnapping.

* * *

"Don't go too far." Sasuke said. He kneeled into a crouch behind some bushes, peering through and watching as blond hair bobbed across the clearing. This was one of the more dangerous parts of town, and Naruto always came by on Sunday. He kept the look of someone who knew what they were doing, and refused to show just how much of a mess he really was.

Naruto disappeared into a building, leaving Sasuke stranded in the woods once again. Rather than sitting around to wait for him to come back out, Sasuke crawled over the nearest window, peeking in to see what was happening.

 _Another dealer._

It was the third dealer this month. Last week, a dealer said Naruto's usual guy was sick, and Naruto took the excuse as the truth. But Sasuke knew the kinds of people Naruto was dealing with. He'd worked with these kinds of people before. The first time Naruto came by this building, Sasuke did extensive research on the people residing here, and found that this wasn't a dealer-client kind of thing, but a gang.

Subconsciously, Naruto knew this too. There were too many signs pinpointing towards criminal activity that went beyond drug dealing for him not too. But being the crackhead he was, Naruto didn't care so long as he got his fix.

Sasuke watched as Naruto gave his money away, and the dealer went to the back room to grab whichever drugs were requested. These were the worst situations Naruto got into, and Sasuke hated watching them.

And yet, tomorrow Naruto would be smiling as if nothing happened. He'd go to school, finish his work, and pretend the bruise around his eye was from a fall. Teachers had no reason to question him, especially with his guardian working at the school. And his guardian didn't care enough to ask where the bruise came from.

But his lips would still quirk up, and he'd laugh when Kiba mocked him. Soon, the bruise would be forgotten, and still, he'd smile.

Naruto's smile was always so disgustingly happy. He was always telling himself about how in a few years, things would be better. But Sasuke knew it never would. After all, Sasuke said the same thing to himself. Day after day, he repeated, "things will get better" until he finally accepted that that optimism was an illusion.

To see that same optimism reflected in Naruto was a curse Sasuke both loved and hated. Somehow, Sasuke needed to ensure Naruto lost that false hope and accepted that he'd never be happy. He hadn't figured out how to handle it yet, but in time, Sasuke knew he would.

Blue eyes flittered to the window. Sasuke ducked down. This had been happening more often lately. Sasuke suspected Naruto sensed Sasuke watching. Either that, or he saw a figure move from time to time.

Perhaps Sasuke had been getting careless. Years ago, Sasuke wouldn't dare get this close to Naruto. But more often he found himself outside the school window and following him as he scavenged dumpsters around town, eventually heading back to his car and ending the day with sleep. Sasuke used to watch from afar and rarely ever got close. But now, he often found himself inching closer to Naruto, desperate just to have some form of contact, even if it was in the form of strangers.

 _I could be your dealer._ He thought. Naruto would question a man who came offering drugs, but if he saw an exchange he made with someone he might stray from this gang and request Sasuke to provide the drugs he needed. It was a simple solution to a difficult problem. However, a simple money-for-drugs relationship wasn't what Sasuke sought.

Naruto's gaze travelled back to the dealer, and Sasuke was free to peer over the window again. It had been years since he started looking out for Naruto, and he had never suspected Sasuke's presence until recently. Perhaps getting closer meant getting caught. But if that was to be the case, Sasuke wanted to be caught as someone who cared for someone, not as the label the police gave him.

Looking out for someone was different than stalking. Police were fools for believing otherwise.

Sasuke's eyes roved over Naruto's tantalizing lips. He wanted to wrap his arms around Naruto's body. To draw his hands through sunny hair, worshipping him in a way he'd never done before. He wanted Naruto to _know_ him. To _see_ him. To worship Sasuke just as much as Sasuke worshipped him. His fingers would trace over the scars on each cheek, and Naruto's eyes would light up as they did when there was no homework that night. Naruto would whisper his name over and over again, like a mantra meant only for Sasuke's ears.

Sasuke breathed in deeply, shuddering. Naruto was his. No officer was going to take that away.

It wasn't even Naruto who filed a report against him. It was a goddamn teacher.

The dealer grabbed Naruto's wrist, pushing him into the wall and whispering something into his ear.

Sasuke coiled his fingers into the ground, eyes dilating as his pulse quickened. He'd fought against lovers and friends, forcing any acquaintance Naruto knew to vanish. Yet a drug dealer never made the list of people Sasuke needed to disappear. He hadn't prepared himself for the need to force a drug dealer out of Naruto's life.

He licked his lips, burning rage coiling in his gut as the dealer dragged Naruto to another room and out of Sasuke's sight. Sasuke had never seen Naruto disappear before. He was always within sight, no matter where he travelled.

He ground his teeth together, scurrying to the entrance of the building. No one took Naruto out of his eyeshot. Not unless it was someone Sasuke knew was safe.

No one was safe enough for Naruto.

The electricity was shut off. So, Sasuke waited for his eyes to adjust and continued forward. The moonlight was an effective source of light. Most wouldn't notice a difference between darkness and moonlight, but Sasuke had been watching Naruto day and night, so his eyes had adapted to the brightest and lowest lighting.

The building was mostly empty. A few footsteps echoed in the distance, but nothing that threatened Sasuke. It was eerily similar to his first home, back when he was a child. But while his home was full of riches and decorations, this was dusty and decaying.

Just like _that_ night.

Blood swarmed through his mind's eye. His parent's corpse' lying cold in a puddle of crimson. Itachi standing by the door, red dripping from his fingertips. His brother's hands were behind his back, so Sasuke didn't see the knife until after he'd embraced Itachi and found himself dripping with his parent's blood.

Muddled voices spilled from the room beside him. Sasuke pressed his ear against it, trying to hear Naruto's voice among the dealers. A gun could be pressed against Naruto's head, and while Sasuke was trapped in the memory of that night, Naruto was dealing with a dealer who wanted more than just money.

 _Forget that night. It doesn't matter anymore._

Naruto was everything that mattered in this world.

A sob poured through his throat. His parent's screams ran through his brain until all that was left was Itachi. He hid in a cupboard until the screams died, then swam through blood until he reached his parents room.

His heart raced through his head, stomach dropping as nausea crawled through his body. His hands were shaking, and sweat formed beneath his neck.

Itachi stood above their dying bodies. Sasuke had thought his brother was going to help them.

Something cold pressed against his temple, bruising his skull. Sasuke's eyes focused immediately. His parent's corpses gone from his mind. Itachi disappearing into oblivion just as he did that night. He was in a decaying warehouse, not the mansion filled with blood. Naruto was in the room beside him, and Sasuke was too stupid to be rid of the dealer while he had the chance.

"One wrong move and I shoot. Refuse to answer my questions and I shoot. Understand?"

Sasuke nodded. Under normal circumstances, this was a simple situation of answer questions and hope they didn't shoot. But Naruto was in the next room. Any wrong move, and Sasuke's danger became Naruto's. If Sasuke got killed, Naruto was a witness, even if he didn't actually see anything.

 _That's not how this gang works._

The gang wouldn't hurt Naruto.

"Who are you?"

They would make Naruto hurt him.

He closed his eyes. "No one important."

The man slammed the barrel into his head, grabbing a lock of hair and keeping him upright. Sasuke bit his lip, tasting iron. Any noise would draw attention, and Sasuke didn't want Naruto's curious eyes shining through the door.

"Who are you?" The man said. Sasuke eyed him warily. Some gang members were stupid, and this might just be one of them. Sasuke however, was not stupid, and had handled worse situations than this.

"Izumo Tanaka."

"What are you here for?"

Sasuke gave the best answer he could think of. "Drugs."

It was better than the truth.

The man released him, laughing loud enough for Naruto to hear. Sasuke cringed, glancing over at the door and just waiting for Naruto to see what was going on just inches away.

The man grabbed Sasuke's hand and helped him stand. Sasuke clenched his teeth. This man wanted Naruto for something. And anything anyone wanted from Naruto meant Sasuke lost to someone else in the game of who gets Naruto.

He'd never lost before. He wasn't starting now.

 _But he's not really yours, is he?_

What were they talking about in the next room?

"You should've said so. How much you got?"

Sasuke left his wallet at home. He never needed it while watching Naruto.

"I don't have any. I'd hoped I can pay you later."

"Go into debt, huh? That's alright. What are you interested in?"

"Anything that works. Though my favorite's always been cocaine."

The last time he bought drugs was in high school, and it'd been longer since he'd taken any. His brother forced him into a rehabilitation center upon his release from juvie. Sasuke was still a minor then, but the program had helped him get better control of himself.

Then he found Naruto.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." The man said.

Sasuke embraced the chill of winter air as he left the building. He'd wait outside the bushes for Naruto to leave, then kill everyone in the gang.

Naruto belonged to him. Lovers. Friends. Acquaintances. He wasn't allowed any.

 _He doesn't even know you exist._

"He's still mine."


	2. Chapter 2

He was startled awake by his door slamming open. The sun had yet to rise, and his alarm was still silent. _Not six yet._ He squinted into the darkness. A shadow loomed by the door, slowly growing closer. Mizuki again. Naruto laid back down with a groan, folding his arm over his eyes. Alcohol and sleepwalking were two situations that should never mix, and yet, they always did.

He'd gotten home late that night, all because Kiba insisted they prank every teacher in school by the end of the year. Naruto had been begging Kiba to keep him uninvolved, but Kiba insisted that Naruto needed to chill.

"You're late." Mizuki said. "Where were yah?"

"Detention."

 _Worthless trash, always getting into trouble._

 _It's your own fault._

 _If only you were more manageable. Neither one of us would be dealing with this shit._

 _A 20 in math? That's my class. Why is it your lowest grade?_

Naruto curled into himself, listening to Mizuki's footsteps looming closer. He was sick of living like this. Always cautious, yet not cautious enough. The constant fear being the only reminder that this was his life, and it would never change. He looked over his shoulder so often, feeling as if someone was watching, yet knowing no one was truly there because Naruto was crazy.

The sound of footsteps halted. Naruto braced himself for the incoming pain, covering his head with his arms and wishing—hoping—Mizuki would get an arm or shoulder, not his legs or stomach.

He felt Mizuki's breath brush his ear, and the familiar pull to fight back struck yet again. But his arms refused to leave his head, and it was his own fault for coming home late.

"If you're not out of my house in 30 seconds, I will kill you."

* * *

Naruto woke up gasping, dampened hair slick against his forehead. He banged his head against the tree, bark clinging to his unruly hair like a steak between his teeth. His stomach was in a knot again. How many nights had be been having that same dream?

 _It's been four months. Get over it._

Naruto still heard that leering voice everyday at math.

Slowly, he got up and untangled the bark from his head. He headed for his locker to grab his things. Another absence wouldn't make a difference anyways. Sometimes, he wondered why he showed up at all.

"Yo, Naruto!" Kiba rammed into a student, apologizing before twisting his feet once more in Naruto's direction. Naruto slammed his locker shut, not bothering to even acknowledge Kiba's existence.

"Nuh-uh. You're not getting away this time."

 _Watch me._

Kiba slowed beside Naruto, a smile tugging his face. Back when Kiba was falsely arrested for shoplifting, all his friends abandoned him. Naruto had told Kiba over and over again that he was hanging around the wrong crowd. Naruto had been the only one not to abandon Kiba, and now, Kiba was obsessed with keeping their friendship alive.

Naruto had tried to keep Kiba out of his life. They were close once, in middle school. But that was years ago, and Naruto didn't care about whatever they had back then anymore.

"Heading to lunch again? Man, if I had a car I'd be eating out all day."

"You're not coming." Naruto said, "and I'm not getting lunch."

Naruto rushed his pace. Kiba always interrogated him about his whereabouts after lunch. After all, when a student attended half the day then disappeared into thin air, it wasn't difficult to figure out what they were up to. By now, most of the student population knew Naruto skipped class and simply left it for the councilors and principal to take care of.

"Really? I always assumed food was on your list of things to do after lunch."

 _Translation: Food is a requirement when skipping school, because you always miss lunch._

"Well," Naruto said. "It's not."

Most of the money he managed to scavenge wound up paying for drugs. The rest was for food and water. But most often, Naruto stole a stash of chips from Mizuki's place. He did, after all, have some rights to Mizuki's pantry, and it's not like the man knew Naruto was stealing from him.

"Eh. Whatever. But where are we going?"

" _You're_ not going anywhere."

The school had poor security. Doors were always unlocked and campuses were never guarded. No gates, no security. Only the hidden camera's saw Naruto leave every day, but whoever sat behind the camera and watched never said a thing to stamp Naruto's meeting with the principal.

The absences would, someday, get someone's attention. But Naruto cared not for any trouble he may or may not get in. Mizuki would handle it anyway. After all, a guardian in support of their child skipping school looked awful. Somehow, Mizuki would figure out how to ensure Naruto was safeguarded from the principal's wrath.

He'd probably break a few laws.

"Surprise me then. Which car is yours?"

"You're not coming."

"I've decided I am."

Naruto sucked in a deep breath. Another crazy guy coming into his life was the last thing he needed. Even if he did seem to care, and tried to be friends, Naruto didn't need him. He was perfectly fine in this friendless life he'd acquired. It's not like anyone who came into his life ever stayed. They all left at some point.

But still, one day couldn't hurt, and Naruto feared that Kiba would fight his way into Naruto's car no matter what he said about it. Sighing, Naruto pointed across the parking lot. "The old silver one. I have no idea what kind it is."

Naruto could survive one day with Kiba. By the time school ended, Naruto would have him dropped off at his place and be back to the Walmart parking lot he'd grown fond of.

"Cool. Where we headed?"

Naruto shrugged. "Where do you want to go?"

Kiba's smile went from quirky to crazy, and Naruto thought he may have made a mistake by giving Kiba the freedom to choose the destination. But a smile played on his own lips, and he found himself wanting to have Kiba around.

"I know just the place. Get driving, man." Kiba said.

 _One day can't hurt._

"I hope you're a good navigator." Naruto said. "I get lost enough as it is. I don't need your craziness seeping into my driving."

"That's bull! I'm great with directions."

"Say's the guy that got lost on the way to second period."

"It was the first day."

"And yet, I found all my classes."

"Fuck you."

"Yes. Fuck me. See where it gets you."

* * *

"This is a bar." Naruto said. "We can't walk in there without an id."

Kiba was leaning back in his seat, strolling through his phone. Sometimes he read something that made a frown mare his face as his brows furrowed, yet Naruto never stopped driving to see the content that could silence Kiba.

"I've got fake ids."

"Okay." Naruto said. "I don't."

Kiba reached into his bag and thrust something into Naruto's lap, then got back to his phone. Naruto grabbed the plastic Kiba tossed.

"I got you one a couple weeks ago."

Naruto blinked. The id had a picture of him scowling angrily. He couldn't remember it being taken, but Kiba probably snapped it without Naruto's knowledge.

"Thanks, I think? How long have you been planning this?"

"Months, man. You wouldn't believe the trouble I went through to get these babies." He whipped out his own fake id and kissed it. Naruto nodded slowly. He never needed a fake id to smuggle drugs, and so never bothered with them. But having one was rather convenient when a cop asked why he was out of school or the Walmart employees tapped his window. Something to prove he wasn't a homeless teenager certainly was convenient.

 _So, I'm a homeless 27-year-old. Wonderful_

"Okay. You know that's illegal, right? We could've just gone bowling or something."

"For a guy who skips school, you're really finicky. Bowling is for family. Bars are for skipping teenagers."

"I usually go to Starbucks and hang at the park."

Kiba twisted in his seat, finally setting his phone down. Naruto stared at the damp building before them, stomach queasy at just the thought of alcohol. The last time he had any he ended up vomiting all night and with a killer hangover the next morning. Maybe when he had a bed and his own toilet, alcohol would be more enjoyable. But vomiting for hours in a public bathroom and sleeping off a hangover in a car was worse than the concussion a past dealer gave him.

"I'm not going to drink." He said.

"Then you can sit on a lonely bar stool with a lame ass club soda and watch me have all the fun."

"You do know that when people get wasted, they do stupid things, right? What if you end up like, spending $1000 online shopping or something? It probably won't be fun then."

"By the time I realize I spent $1000 I'll be sober. The aftereffects aren't fun, but getting drunk is. Have you never done this before?"

Naruto remembered how alone he felt as he vomited. There was no one to help him pick up the pieces as his life fell apart, and no one to ease the pain as his throat burned of bile. He had to drag himself out of the stall and drink from the sink, only to heave again and start over. At the time, the toilet was his best friend, and he had a rather deep conversation with it until someone woke him because the store was closing.

"Only once. It wasn't worth it."

Naruto's limbs felt as if they were going to fall off, but he forced his shaking hands to unbuckle his seat belt and pulled his legs out of the car and into the bar. Kiba was jumping on the balls of his feet, excited and looking as if he belonged with this bar. Naruto shook his head, feeling a headache rising as he seated himself on one of the barstools, watching as Kiba downed drink after drink.

"How often do you come here?" Naruto said, pulling his jacket closer to himself. His mouth had gone bone dry, and the bar's temperature seemed to have dropped.

"All the time, man. My sis took me when I was 12. It was disgusting then, but damn was it worth it."

Naruto wiped his sweaty palms over his pants, swallowing and taking a deep breath. He furrowed his brows, trying to remember where he left last night's stash. He normally left it in the console of the car, but the Walmart employees were growing agitated with him, so he buried a hole under a bush and hid everything there to be safe. But last night's stash—the memory of where he left it was lost to him.

"I think we should leave, Kibs." He said.

Naruto blinked back tears, though he didn't know why he was near crying. But Kiba wasn't listening, just drinking and drinking and Naruto needed to go… to go… Where was his stash again?

"We need to leave." He said again, but Kiba still didn't listen. So, Naruto got up and left, unlocking his car quickly and shuffling through the console. Nothing. No drugs. Goddammit. He needed to find his stash. Pulling at his hair, he tried to think. He bought it last night—last night! How could he forget something that happened last night?

"Shit man. You look like you were stranded in the middle of the desert." Naruto whipped around, Kiba's contorted face messing with his brain. He had no time for him. His stash was somewhere in this world. Lost in some bush that Naruto stupidly left it in.

"Shut up. I need to go… to go… go… my stash… I lost… dammit…"

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why'd he take it from the car? So what if someone saw it. He paid good money for that stash, and he wasn't scared if some Walmart employee caught him using. He'd just find another Walmart. There were plenty in the world. Why in gods name did he remove his own stash?

"Hey, man. I can drive you home. I got a permit, and I'm only a bit buzzed. I'm sure—"

"Home… no. No home. Stash. Somewhere…lost… stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

He wanted to stop. That's right. He removed his stash because he wanted to stop. But he didn't want to stop, yet he did. So, he hid his stash. Somewhere…lost…A bush?

"I'm driving… find… I need." He said, hopping in the driver's seat and taking the wheel. Kiba's voice boomed in his ear, but he was moving before Kiba could steal his car again. Somewhere in the world was a bush with heroin buried under. Like a buried treasure, he supposed. He felt his hands shaking as he turned into the Walmart parking lot.

"Walmart? Hells no. I'm buzzed and you're insane. Find somewhere less public to park."

Naruto glanced at the passenger seat. He hadn't realized Kiba was still there, but at least Naruto still had his car.

He found a bush nearby, and started digging. Nothing there. He found another, then another, and another. Kiba's voice was following him through every bush. Mocking him, laughing at him. Isn't that what he always did? Stealing his car, laughing, mocking. Everyone did it. And of everyone, Kiba got Naruto in trouble the most.

He found his stash, and had injected half of the dose in when it disappeared from his grasp. He dug deeper into the ground, just in case he'd only imagined having it in his grasp. But when he still failed to find it, he searched through more bushes.

"Is this why you've been so distant with me?" Someone grabbed his wrist, twisting him around and away from a bush. Naruto saw something glint off whomever had him. He looked closer at the man talking, seeing a needle in one hand. "You're doing drugs?"

"Give them back." Naruto reached out for the man's other hand, his drugs. The only thing that was truly _his._ No one had ever taken them from him before. Why was this man, this blurry stranger, trying to steal Naruto's belongings?

"Not your drugs anymore. I'm taking you home. Mizuki could help."

That night months ago, when Mizuki tried to kill him, Naruto swore he'd never go back. No matter how bad his situation got, anything was better than living with that man. Even living in the car someone left on the side of the road was better than living with Mizuki. Buying drugs and going into debt was better. _Anything_ was better than going back.

"I'm never going back there." He said, snatching is arm back and storming to his car before remembering the blurry man still had his drugs. "Give them back."

"You can get them back when you're in the car. That way no one sees."

And because Naruto desperately needed his drugs, he did as he was told. The blurry man got in the passenger seat, and Naruto thought something was off about the transaction.

"I'm driving." The man said. Naruto furrowed his brows. He was already in the Walmart parking lot. His home. Driving wasn't necessary until tomorrow morning. He shook his head. This was _his_ car. Naruto found it, and he took it. It had been his for four months, and the owners didn't seem to care that Naruto stole their car, so it was his property.

"Give me my drugs."

"Give me the wheel."

Naruto narrowed his eyes, buckling himself in. If this man and wanted a ride, then Naruto would give him one. Naruto took off faster than he normally would, speeding out of the parking lot and relishing in the man's screams. He breathed in heavily, smiling as the road seemed to fly by him. He was in charge of his life. Not this blurry man. Not Mizuki. Not Kiba.

"It's a red light, Naruto! Stop."

Naruto was flung to the side, his seatbelt catching him just enough to avoid being thrown out the window. The car rippled in uncontrolled waves, rolling across the pavement as glass shattered and slammed into his skin. Blearily, he saw Kiba protecting his head and thought maybe he should do the same.

When the car finally skidded to a stop, Naruto's breath was raspy, his chest feeling as if someone threw a brick at him. He stretched his arm, Shaking Kiba's shoulder. "You okay?" He said. But Kiba didn't move, just sat there, more silent than he'd ever been in his life.

"Hey, man, wake up."


End file.
